Guys and Dolls

My brother recommended me see this, so I watched a documentary online called Guys and Dolls, about some guys who talk about their love for their human sex doll. It’s a real good documentary that really sheds light on a group of people who you really never thought actually existed. It’s sad and it’s very interesting. It’s kinda like Planet Earth with fake rubber vaginas. There’s something about the whole fact that this is a whole industry and population that we never really see or hear about.

I know most of you guys won’t watch it, but if you’re not afraid of naked dolls and stuff, then check out this documentary because it’s really really really really interesting.

I just spent the last 35 minutes drawing an anime cat onto my face. I hope I get into Stanford!

To every news outlet,

I have not yet caught SARS,
Swine Flu,
been attacked by Africanized killer bees,
contracted AIDS
or HIV,
or west nile virus,
been bombed by a Afghan radiological dispersal dirty bomb,
lost my civilization via Y2K bug,
caught Mad Cow Disease,
played videogames enough to alter my perception of reality and fantasy,
been prey to online predators,
caught Salmonella from tomatoes,
lost my life to 6/6/06,
had my planet destroyed by an asteroid,
joined a suicidal cult,
or any of the stuff you guys tell me will happen to me.

But thanks for scaring the hell out of me for no reason.

Ostentation

I’m not talking directly at anyone here; I’m talking to everyone, probably myself.

There comes a point where being ornamental and flashy becomes just ridiculous.

As I mentioned in another blog, I just don’t understand the absolute lack of usefulness and need. I understand you could be like “Kevin, you’re saying that fashion is absolutely worthless? That’s dumb. Kevin, you’re a stupid arrogant jerk that plays lameass yugioh.” Yeah I could understand that, but I’m not completely saying everything is stupid; there are just somethings that cross the line.

I know a lot of people wear the picnic “muffler” scarves nowadays. All I’m going to say is that it’s summer in California, and if you’re wearing it, what the hell? Even in the winter, it’s never cold enough to make me go “My neck is particularly cold.” But in the summer? Now that’s silly.

Oh and wearing hats backwards or sideways or whatever. I don’t really have to explain this one.

And I know when you’re wearing sunglasses indoors/at night/anywhere where it’s not sunny you’re just like Tom Cruz in Top Gun right? Or the terminator? Or Kanye West with his shutter shades? But really, unless you’re Stevie Wonder (and there’s really little chance that Stevie Wonder can read my blog), don’t wear them indoors; it’s just stupid.

Bandanas and headbands to make you look cool like Paramore are lame.

There’s just a point where people can see that you’re trying way too hard. Who do you have to impress with these shutter shades and Jordans and gold chains and Paramore headbands and whatever you waste your time preparing yourself with.

People sometimes call me arrogant, but I’m just better than them.

I think

Without being reminded constantly about what I take for granted, I selfishly continue my life oblivious to how lucky I really am.

There was a lady I saw the other day. She was having trouble walking with a limp. I couldn’t help but feel like a completely greedy selfish spoiled idiot. She was having trouble walking. And when she’s at her home, trying to walk around without ease, I’m at home getting pissed off because I can’t find something interesting on tv or because my internet went out.

I want stuff that I don’t need and I worry about stuff that don’t mean anything while there are people everywhere so much lesser off than I am.

I am completely aware of this.

But I don’t change.

I feel like I don’t deserve any of what I get. When there’s people out there struggling to just survive, why do I get video games and shoes and swimming pools and myspace?

A lot of people believe in karma. But what did I do to deserve all the good I get? Or, what did starving children do to deserve starvation? I don’t believe Paris Hilton led too good of a life to deserve fame and fortune.

Something I want to ask is, if someone cuts you off on the road, or makes you mad enough that you curse at them, flip them off, or do whatever, would you do the same if you knew somehow that they just lost a close family member earlier that day or were just diagnosed with a terminal illness? It’s easy to curse at someone I don’t know, but if I knew that their best friend just passed away, I probably wouldn’t. The next time I want to tell someone off, I should probably consider that maybe they’re having the worst day of their life and anything more will kill them.

Letter to Urban Outfitters and Zumiez

Please please please,

start wearing uniforms. I really can’t tell the difference between who works there and who just wears nice clothes. So seriously, consider -at least- a nametag or a hat or something. I don’t want to have to wait until you fold clothes or do something that is very employee-like. It’s just so inconvenient.

PS: I’ll be shopping at Gap until you guys get your act together; they all have radios in their back pocket.

The Coolest Thing Since Being Gay

is being Indian. From Mohinder, the sort of good-looking Indian guy in Heroes to Latika, the very hot Indian girl in Slumdog Millionaire, Indian people have been all the rage in Hollywood. The whole gay and lesbian thing right now is getting too played out and too often imitated (Lindsay Lohan) which explains the sudden spark in the very opposite direction: Indian. Indians are so not gay that their country, India (just in case you didn’t know), is the second most populated country on Earth. Which country is the most populated you ask?

China. And if you’re a girl, I’ll prove to you I’m not gay. Free of charge.

Well anyway, back to India. India has a population growth rate of 1.578%. I don’t know what that means, but compared to United State’s 0.883%, India is having tons more sex.

But if you think this is the beginning of the Indian trend, you’re wrong. I traced back the trend as far back as the 1940’s.

Some guy named Gandhi was his own stylist who made his own clothes, a revolutionary in making starving yourself cool, and a not-gay guy.

Anyway, I’ve already bought my own Kurta Pajama to hop on this Indian trend before it gets replaced.

Shoes

“I don’t really care what people think about me. I just do whatever I like” are the same people who look at my shoes and go “I wouldn’t wear those; They are so ugly.” Good one on keeping up with your promise of not caring what other people think.

As you can see, shoe comfortability correlates directly to shoe ugliness. Do you think glass slippers are comfortable?

Didn’t think so.

This is why all running shoes are ugly; they’re comfortable. Okay I’m done.

WAIT: I won’t sacrifice my comfortability to appease your eyes. CROCS ROOL.

My Middle Finger System

I’ll be awarding middle fingers for things I don’t like on the internet.

Brokencyde Brokencyde, you’ve combined two of the crappiest tricks in singing from the last couple years: screaming and autotuning. Are you serious? Well, it’s supposed to be funny, right? Judging from the comments commending the band, it seems like some people genuinely like this. I don’t like to say bad words too much, but what the fuck? This is really just absolute meatspin.

I’ll give it 2 out of 5 middle fingers. (I have 5 hands or something)

Millionaires You know what I hate more than the alcohol-loving, binge-drinking, too-cool-for-school attitude girl? 3 alchohol-loving, binge-drinking, too-cool-for-school attitude girls, who boast about it. Yeah, I know some of you girls who might sometimes go on my blog because you’re my friend on myspace are like “What? This song is so cool!” Well, there’s a reason why you’re only my friend on myspace. You’re the girl who gets drunk with you friends and posts your pictures of you drinking some shots and stuff so the whole world can see how badass you are. Yeah yeah, we understand; you’re dumb. These are the same types of girls who make out with other girls for attention. I understand, you’re an attention whore. Or a regular one. Either way, you’re a whore. And you know what happens to whores.

I’ll give it a 3 out of 5 middle fingers.

3 Oh! 3

These guys already get one automatic middle finger for having a really tough to figure out name, at least for me anyway. Like Brokencyde, I can’t tell how serious these guys are, but considering how much radioplay these guys get, damn, they are horrible. Is it supposed to be funny? Serious? What is it? It’s not really funny or good or anything; it just makes me angry sort of. Basically, Brokencyde is a lot worse than 3Oh!3, but these guys are much more famous and they really get on my nerves as they are played about every 5 minutes on any “hits” station. Also, I’m too lazy to rearrange the order of the middle finger list.

I’ll give them 4 out of 5 middle fingers.

Fred

Being random was never really that funny and stopped being SORT OF funny a little after I stopped thinking girls had penises. What I’m saying is: being random was only funny to me when I had no taste and had no comedic values. But Fred here, well, he’s beyond not funny; he’s infuriating. He’s making complete crap AND he’s making money from doing this. When M. Night Shyamalan made The Happening, people were saying it was total crap, but Fred? He’s getting 4 out of five stars on youtube for putting his videos in fast forward and acting like a retard being himself.

Infinity middle fingers.

The best (most baffling) part is at 1:11.

I don’t know who’s lamer: the lame-o crying about his WoW account or the brother with the girly laugh and braces.

Hybrid Public Bike

I think this is a really cool concept: a bike with a energy storing dynamo in the wheel so that after you rent the bike, stored energy from riding/braking is collected by the bike drop-off points and used as energy for the buses. Even cooler is the fact that you use a card that collects credits as you store more energy and after collecting a certain amount of energy, your bus ride is free.

This is one of the greatest “green” ideas I’ve heard in a long time.

I just don’t know what would prevent bike theft.